You’re engaged! Now what?

Helleww Everbody!

This week I am going to write about some of the first things you should do when you get engaged. Spoiler alert! I am not going to talk about all the concrete plans you should make right off the bat, I am going to talk about ways you can ensure your engagement is simply wonderful.

 

1. Enjoy this time with your fiance! You only get engaged once, and instead of diving head-first into the wedding planning, take a bit to stop and smell the roses! Chances are, your new fiance has tons of stories about how he planned the proposal/asked your parents for their blessing etc. Take time to just dwell in the new season of life that you are in together. You won’t regret it!
2. Set boundaries! Set them with yourself, your fiance, and with (most likely) your mom. Tell yourself now that you will not let anyone suck out your joy. People will always give you their unsolicited opinion, but you can choose how you react. Also, sometimes making all these big decisions at once is overwhelming! Tell your fiance that if planning ever becomes too much, you will scream “Applesauce!” or some other safe word of your choosing. Remember: choose joy! Finally, decide how to make decisions. Don’t unintentionally steamroll your fiance’s opinion by assuming he does not have one. Ask!
3. Have the money talk. Who is paying? How much are they paying? Are there stipulations? The first two questions are easy; who and how much. However, do not forget to ask if there are any strings attached to money that is given to you (if any). Above all, be thankful! Then, graciously ask if the giver will be expecting you to consult them on any of your planning. For example, if your parents are paying for 90% of your wedding, they may expect that you invite 15 of their closest friends that you have not seen since you were in fourth grade. This is not necessarily a bad thing (those people give GREAT gifts), but it is something to be aware of.
4. Buy a planning binder! I have linked a great one here. Your planning binder will help you make sure to book vendors at the right time, establish invitation wording, and figure out how to draft a solid guest list. Plus, years after your wedding you will still have your binder as a keepsake! (Remember: I am a coordinator, not a planner. I basically make your binder a reality on your wedding day!
5. Pinterest it up! I know, you have been planning your wedding on Pinterest for years. What I am suggesting is that you create a “secret” wedding board that the general public does not have access to, but that you can share with specific people like your mom, maid of honor, and me. (To do this, create a new board, but toggle the secret option to the “on” setting). Having a secret board will allow you to hone in on your vision, and help your co-planners see the kind of things you like!
6. Choose a venue! If you do not have a special date in mind i.e. the third anniversary of your first date, choose the general idea of when you want to get married and then start asking for vendor availability. This way you won’t have to scratch your #1 location off your list when they do not have your date available, but they do have the day before and after. By giving the venue a date range, they can tell you what openings they have. Plus, sometimes venues will be cheaper on Fridays and Sundays, instead of Saturdays. If you need to save money, this is a great place to start! Since your venue can determine many other factors like vendors and guest count, this should be your first concrete step.

 

Good luck, and congratulations on being engaged!